Thank God He is God and not me.

Do we all know the left lane rule? It’s for passing. It’s not for cruising. For those of us who have a heavy foot on the pedal, we’ve all suffered from the road rage of being stuck behind a slow driver in the left lane. Once I’m finally able to pass them, I literally make grand gestures with my hands to wave them out of the left lane (an occasional finger might pop up too, just saying). Don’t they know the rule?! Slow drivers to the right! It should literally be the first question on the driver’s test. Are you a slow driver? Then stay in the right lane and stay out of my way! This happened to me yesterday on I95 because a girl was texting while driving. In the left lane. Then literally five minutes later as I got off my exit, two cars that were either following each other or chasing each other going 90mph, both sped past the line of traffic waiting at the red light using the pull over lane and both cars ran the red light and continued on with what I assume was their chase or their sense of entitlement. Suffice it to say, the sentiment I’ve shared since the lockdowns in March was confirmed: I hate people.

As if the controversy with covid_19 and lockdowns and being forced to choose between black lives and all lives wasn’t enough, there are slow drivers taking over left lanes everywhere! Hating people has been entirely too easy the last six months. I remembered what Jesus said in one of his sermons. “If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors love their friends.” Hating others is such an easy concept. It doesn’t take much effort. Especially these days. Loving others, even simply liking them, is the real challenge. I didn’t need a Bible quote to tell me that. I’m not married, but I gather spouses find it hard to love their other half all day every single day. I struggle to not be annoyed with my own family, my parents and siblings, more so as adults then when we were children together. It’s way easier to hate some of your co-workers then it is to embrace each one of them. It’s so damn easy to hate everyone. But where is that award? I haven’t been handed one and I’m the best there is at the game, especially with my low tolerance to patience. An unfortunate fact about myself I hate to admit and need to change. And fast.

I look around at the world we live in and 2020 has not been kind to any of us. All I see is hatred being fueled by more hatred and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to explain why we aren’t seeing any medals being presented to anyone. There is so much divisiveness. So much animosity. So much hate. THAT is the real pandemic. But it’s not new to our generation. No. Hate has been a global pandemic long before 2020. Long before the last global pandemic of 1918. Oh yes. Since the beginning of time. The first recorded murder in history was a brother killing his own brother, out of jealousy. The game is not new, simply different players. The other day I was watching a news program and a political commentator, who I disagree with and despise, was making his points and I just kept shouting at the TV. I was throwing every name in the book at him, as if he could hear me. And then it hit me. God loves him. God loves the slow driver in the left lane. He loves the two people who ran the red light ahead of a line of traffic. He loved the brother who was murdered, but more importantly the brother who killed him. I realized something. I am not capable of that kind of love, or at the very least incapable of understanding it. And that is why I thank God He is God. And not me.

Think of all the worst people throughout history. The best and most modern example is Hitler. Or just simply think of someone in your life who has crossed you. Someone you were never able to forgive. Someone who you hate. Then think of how much God loves that person. Crazy to think that God loved Hitler, right? The man responsible for the mass genocide of God’s chosen people was, in fact, loved by God. God is also a just God and there is no doubt justice was served regarding Hitler, but it also does not mean the unconditional love was lost. The love of God is never lost. And it’s something I cannot quite rap my head around. I can’t imagine loving everyone, including my enemies. Don’t forget that God’s greatest enemy, the devil, was his greatest creation of all time. Lucifer was God’s companion. He was the greatest of all angels to ever exist in the Heavens. Lucifer decided to rebel, unarguably the greatest rebellion of the history of creation. And look where it has led us. God will defeat the devil when all is said and done, but will the love be lost? The answer is no.

The perfect ending to this piece would be a very generic “if God could love the devil then it’s totally possible for me to love the person who slowed me down in traffic” right? On the current journey I am on in 2020, I’m afraid that answer is becoming less and less clear and seemingly unattainable. It’s a sad reality I think most of us are finding ourselves in. However, it’s not hopeless. I look at it as a lesson needed to be learned. And though the door to my college education closed 13 years ago, the lessons of life are constant. I recognize that I need to be more patient and compassionate. Saying I hate everyone is not going to change anything. I’m not going to win the gold medal nor collect a cash prize. Putting my faith in God, instead of man, is a good place to start. This year has been a rough ride for all of us and seeing what has been happening has made it easy to hate people. I’m going to try and leave that game to the devil. I don’t want to play anymore. It’s hard to love, but damn it I’m going to try. I’ll even try to love all of you slow left laners. Maybe that’s even the lesson. Maybe I need to get out of the left lane and slow down a bit. Because if God can love me after all the things I’ve done, I should at least be willing to slow down and try to do the same. I will undoubtedly fail and that’s why I thank God He is God and I am not.